Our Featured Find
Summer, 2016
Parkinson’s a bitch, my father said, shaking off the awkwardness of having his son hold him in bed to hold off the shaking.
Earlier Finds
The Piltdown Extinction
Was the odd assortment of bones we spread before you, these femurs and skulls and scattered phalanges, evidence of a naturally integrated and simon-pure undertaking?
Care and Feeding of Your Piano
Even when you think you know your way around a new purchase, it goddamn pays to read the manual.
Swiss Kriss for President
An unpaid pitchman, I even sent Kriss to Eisenhower. “Do it the Satchmo way and you’ll feel 10 years old.”
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Swiss Kriss Diet
I’m a high-strutting yo-yo diet, the gut and down every year or so. But people fixate on my weight, like I got cancer. No, I got Swiss Kriss.
St. James Infirmary
Two Freds, one the composer the other the tromboner. Got to have both or this hit would need a church organ donor.
The First Few A’s in St. James Infirmary
That song’s first “A” didn’t show up, must’ve been sick. That “A” didn’t show up, could’ve been sick. Or maybe missed the call ’bout the gig between my lips.
What a Wonderful World
The melody sounded like twinkle twinkle’s great uncle oompah loompah: “I see trees of green . . .” Label wasn’t seeing the same green cause they only offered me 5 c-notes.
Film Studies
I am pushing this bicycle twined with ribbons & flags & enormous bells through the elaborate marble lobby to the bar.
Funeral Practices of the Flooded Valley
The long double row of skulls adorning the curved wooden bulkhead walls reminds us that in the midst of death we are in life.
