June 2019
What a Wonderful World
The melody sounded like twinkle twinkle’s great uncle oompah loompah: “I see trees of green . . .” Label wasn’t seeing the same green cause they only offered me 5 c-notes.
The First Few A’s in St. James Infirmary
That song’s first “A” didn’t show up, must’ve been sick. That “A” didn’t show up, could’ve been sick. Or maybe missed the call ’bout the gig between my lips.
St. James Infirmary
Two Freds, one the composer the other the tromboner. Got to have both or this hit would need a church organ donor.
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Swiss Kriss Diet
I’m a high-strutting yo-yo diet, the gut and down every year or so. But people fixate on my weight, like I got cancer. No, I got Swiss Kriss.
Swiss Kriss for President
An unpaid pitchman, I even sent Kriss to Eisenhower. “Do it the Satchmo way and you’ll feel 10 years old.”
Care and Feeding of Your Piano
Even when you think you know your way around a new purchase, it goddamn pays to read the manual.
The Piltdown Extinction
Was the odd assortment of bones we spread before you, these femurs and skulls and scattered phalanges, evidence of a naturally integrated and simon-pure undertaking?
